Spirit; Part Four.

Lily finished her cereal, put the plate in the sink and went back upstairs. Spirit tagged along behind and drifted into the bedroom. Lily picked up her dolls and began to play. She pretended one of them was her school teacher, Miss Mulcaster, and the others were her classmates. Lily chanted her two times tables at the plastic figures while spirit moved closer wishing she could join in.

‘Lily’ Sophie called from the bathroom, ‘come and have a wash’

Lily ran out of the bedroom calling ‘coming.’ Spirit picked up one of the dolls in her fingers made of air and pretended it was an imperious queen passing death sentences on the men who had killed her family. She made it stride up and down between the other dolls barking orders and dispensing justice. Spirit heard Lily running back from the bathroom and reluctantly let the doll fall back to the ground. Lily charged back in the bedroom, picked herself out some denim jeans and white jumper with a picture of a friendly looking tiger on the front from the clothes crammed into her wardrobe and dressed herself before coming back to resume her game. She jumped down into her previous position and stopped, a look of confusion crossed her face. Her expression changed to one of admonishment and she waved her finger at the dolls.

‘You guys have been moving about, you must stay still when I’m not here ‘cause you’ll ruin the game. No more moving about’ she told the lifeless plastic figures sternly. Spirit had been to school, she could play this game she thought to herself as she hovered opposite Lily longing to join in.

‘Right class what’s three times three’ Lily said aloud in her best school teacher voice.

‘It’s 9, it’s 9 shouted Spirit although no sound came out and without thinking she grabbed one of the dolls and moved it up and down imitating a child eager to answer teacher’s question. Spirit realised what she had done, dropped the doll as if it was red hot and looked at her playmates stunned face . The little girl with the long dark hair stared immobile at the doll for a handful of heartbeats, then jumped up and fled the room, slamming the door behind her.  The wisp of air was overcome with sadness, she hadn’t meant to scare her friend, she had acted rashly and would need to be more careful in her approach next time.  Lily came back into the room with her mother in tow.

‘Which one was it darling’ said her mother, Lily pointed to the doll that had seemingly sprung to life and Sophie indulgently picked it up and examined it, turned it over in her hands then gave it to Lily who took it in her little fingers and looked at it doubtfully.

‘Look, there’s nothing to be afraid of sweetie, it’s just a doll and it can’t move on its own, perhaps it was the wind’ said Sophie to her daughter. Lily looked unconvinced but kept quiet.

‘Play nicely now honey, I’ll be downstairs if you need me.’ Sophie left the room and Lily plonked herself back on to the pink carpet warily resuming her game, the doll that had moved lay untouched on the floor, excluded for the time being.

Spirit looked on with a mixture of excitement and frustration, she was still itching to join in the game but she needed to communicate with her friend first to tell her she had nothing to fear. She had an idea that should work but needed time alone in the bedroom to execute it. A short time later an opportunity presented itself.

‘Lily, come to the top of the stairs darling please’ Lily dropped her toys and ran out to answer her mother’s summons. Spirit seized her chance and went to the paper and crayons stashed under the bed. She choose a big, bright orange crayon because it looked like a happy colour and with great effort she scrawled the word ‘ Bonjour’ on a sheet of paper, then added a smiley face for good measure. She could hear Lily and her mother having a conversation from opposite ends of the staircase about Lily’s homework for the school holidays, chiefly about when the “young madam” was going to attempt it, then she heard Lily descending the stairs to claim the bribe that she was being offered to at least start her homework project. Spirit moved the paper and placed it in the centre of the game Lily had been playing feeling quite pleased with herself. She was weary from effort but excited and apprehensive too as she waited for Lily’s return. What could be friendlier than a big, happy hello with a smiling face? She felt lily couldn’t possibly get upset at that. Lily ran back in to the room clutching the remains of the chocolate biscuit mummy had given her, stopped and stared at the sheet of paper with her eyes wide and her mouth open then turned and ran screaming from the room slamming the door behind as if the devil were after her.

Spirit felt stunned and confused as she listened to the mother pounding up the stairs to investigate the cause of her daughter’s hysterics. She heard the older woman comfort her daughter in the hallway outside and then Sophie entered on her own. She looked at the paper, gingerly picked it up and walked backwards out of the room gently closing the door behind her. The handful of breeze that used to be a little girl was overcome with despair as the overwhelming weight of her loneliness came crushing in on her, she silently wailed into the empty air and wept empty tears. Her despair began to form into a hard knot of anger as she considered the injustice of it. Her whole family killed and she wasn’t even allowed to die in peace. Why was this girl lily allowed to have a loving mother, to live in a pretty house with a wardrobe full of wonderful clothes to wear? To have a family to protect her and keep her safe and more toys than she could ever play with? While she had everything taken away including her blood and bones then left to drift for all eternity dragging the weight of despair with her like a lead cloak? She raged around the room knocking over ornaments with her fingers of air and scattering the paper and toys in her fury until, exhausted and depleted, she came to rest in the middle of the pink quilt, her spent rage turning into quiet sobs.